Ana Lucia Cortez
Ana-Lucia Cortez (AKA "Bitchy Mamma") was the Spartan leader of the tail-section survivors of Oceanic 815. She ruled with an iron fist, digging pits and murdering anyone who disagreed with her tactics. She even scared Mr. Eko a bit. She's like a major big time bitch. She'd eat the rock for breakfast. She was also bitchin' hot. Off-Island Ana-Lucia was a cop (drawn to this career as a result of her bitchiness). She was a trigger-happy cop too. The local PD dubbed her "Quickdraw McBitchy". This hurt Ana-Lucia's feeling, so she got drunk one night and laid some random dude. She got pregnant as a result. Eventually, she was shot and things didn't go so well for the baby. So, in revenge, Ana-Lucia went out and found a man named Jason and shot him up gangsta style. The next day, Ana-Lucia - waking up from a hangover - learned that her baby's murderer was named Steve. Oops. Later in her life, Christian Shepard randomly talked to her about possibly being a bodyguard for him whilst he takes a trip to Aussieland. She agreed, under the condition that they go with nicknames. Christian called Ana-Lucia "Hot Sexy Mama", while Ana-Lucia dubbed Christian "Big Pimp Daddy". They two had a passionate affair while abroad. However, due to the high volume of alcohol consumption - neither remembers it. And since LOST is based on flashbacks, there is no footage of this memory. All Ana-Lucia remembers is reading the "+" symbol on her pregnancy test, which led her to exclaim "Oh Shit - Not again." No one knows what happened to the second child, but it's likely that it was The Monster. Anyways, Ana-Lucia departed from Christian, dropping him off at a bar. He asked if she wanted to come in, but Ana-Lucia was already buzzed enough (she had about 6 drinks when she learned of her second child. Way to be a strong parent, Ana). Later in the airport, Ana-Lucia broke down and sobbed to her mother on the phone - talking about how her life was pretty lousy and she had no friends. She rambled on and on for about two hours, not hearing the "If you wish to continue this conversation, please deposit another quarter" prompt an hour into her rantings. Feeling abandoned by her mother, she needed a drink. So she went and got drunk at the bar and talked to Jack. Drunk, she asked Jack: "Wanna be my Big Pimp Daddy - version 2.0? It's upgrade time for mama". Only the audience realized the irony of this question. However, for Jack- he just stared and left. Ana-Lucia turned to the next person near her, which happened to be Michael. She asked, "What about you?" The two had a passionate affair (obviously Ana-Lucia is easy), though neither remembers it because of the high volume of alcohol consumption. She got on Oceanic 815 - passed out in the tail-section after vomiting on the ground - and woke up on a strange and mysterious Island. Category:Characters